«Funny»

Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.

W. C. Fields

I have an irrational fear that something bad is going to happen to me when I’m drinking out of a water fountain. I have no idea why.

Andrew Luck

Drinking a cup of coffee with your eyes closed isn’t a sophisticated task for a person, but it’s hard for a robot.

Vijay Kumar

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it’s compounding a felony.

Robert Benchley

Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.

Voltaire

I bought a piano once because I had the dream of playing As Time Goes By as some girl’s leaning on it drinking a martini. Great image. But none of it worked out. I can’t even play Chopsticks. But I’ve got a nice piano at my house!

George Clooney

I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow.

Kinky Friedman

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Henny Youngman

I’m a Method actor. I spent years training for the drinking and carousing I had to do in this film.

George Clooney

I’ve stopped drinking, but only while I’m asleep.

George Best

Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up their own socks or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking from it.

Roseanne Barr

Drinking when we are not thirsty and making love at all seasons, madam: that is all there is to distinguish us from other animals.

Pierre Beaumarchais

But the trouble is that when you drink it, you invariably meet other people drinking it.

Oliver Reed

The worse you are at thinking, the better you are at drinking.

Terry Goodkind