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«Funny»

Drinking
14 quotes & wishes. April
Quotes and wishes: «Funny»

Quotes & Wishes - A thousand times A thousand times

Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. Fields
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Quotes and wishes: «Funny»

Quotes & Wishes - An irrational fear An irrational fear

I have an irrational fear that something bad is going to happen to me when I’m drinking out of a water fountain. I have no idea why.
Andrew Luck
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Quotes and wishes: «Funny»

Quotes & Wishes - Drinking a cup of coffee with your eyes closed Drinking a cup of coffee with your eyes closed

Drinking a cup of coffee with your eyes closed isn’t a sophisticated task for a person, but it’s hard for a robot.
Vijay Kumar
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Quotes and wishes: «Funny»

Quotes & Wishes - Drinking makes such fools of people Drinking makes such fools of people

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it’s compounding a felony.
Robert Benchley
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Quotes and wishes: «Funny»

Quotes & Wishes - Eating and drinking Eating and drinking

Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.
Voltaire
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Quotes and wishes: «Funny»

Quotes & Wishes - I bought a piano once I bought a piano once

I bought a piano once because I had the dream of playing As Time Goes By as some girl’s leaning on it drinking a martini. Great image. But none of it worked out. I can’t even play Chopsticks. But I’ve got a nice piano at my house!
George Clooney
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Quotes and wishes: «Funny»

Quotes & Wishes - I did not swallow I did not swallow

I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow.
Kinky Friedman
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Quotes and wishes: «Funny»

Quotes & Wishes - I gave up reading I gave up reading

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
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Quotes and wishes: «Funny»

Quotes & Wishes - I had to do in this film I had to do in this film

I’m a Method actor. I spent years training for the drinking and carousing I had to do in this film.
George Clooney
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Quotes and wishes: «Funny»

Quotes & Wishes - Only while I’m asleep Only while I’m asleep

I’ve stopped drinking, but only while I’m asleep.
George Best
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Quotes and wishes: «Funny»

Quotes & Wishes - Patriarchy Patriarchy

Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up their own socks or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking from it.
Roseanne Barr
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Quotes and wishes: «Funny»

Quotes & Wishes - That is all That is all

Drinking when we are not thirsty and making love at all seasons, madam: that is all there is to distinguish us from other animals.
Pierre Beaumarchais
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Quotes and wishes: «Funny»

Quotes & Wishes - The trouble The trouble

But the trouble is that when you drink it, you invariably meet other people drinking it.
Oliver Reed
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Quotes and wishes: «Funny»

Quotes & Wishes - The worse you are at thinking The worse you are at thinking

The worse you are at thinking, the better you are at drinking.
Terry Goodkind
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April Fools’ Day

Why can’t you tickle yourself? Scientists have discovered that the feeling experienced when we are tickled causes us to panic and is a natural d... read more
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Confederate History Month

Confederate History Month and related celebrations have been controversial due to the contentious place of slavery in the history of the United ... read more
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Easter Monday in U.S. Virgin Islands

Easter Monday in U.S. Virgin Islands is the day after Easter Sunday and is a holiday in some countries. Easter Monday in the Western Christian l... read more
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Edible Book Day (The International Edible Book Festival)

’Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and the other few to be chewed and digested’ - said Sir Francis Bacon. Seems like some peo... read more
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Ohio Child Abuse Awareness Month

Child abuse or child maltreatment is any act, or failure to act, by a parent or other caregiver that results in actual or potential harm to a ch... read more
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Opening Day

Opening Day is the day on which professional baseball leagues begin their regular season. For Major League Baseball and most of the minor league... read more
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International Children’s Book Day

Since 1967, on or around Hans Christian Andersen’s birthday, 2 April, International Children’s Book Day (ICBD) is celebrated to inspire a love o... read more
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Pascua Florida Day

Pascua Florida Day is celebrated as a state day in Florida, the United States. It usually falls on April 2. It is the anniversary of the discove... read more
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World Autism Awareness Day

Autism and other forms of disability are part of the human experience that contributes to human diversity. As such, the United Nations has empha... read more
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International Day of Mine Awareness and Assistance in Mine Action

On 8 December 2005, the General Assembly declared that 4 April of each year shall be observed as the International Day for Mine Awareness and As... read more
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World Carrot Day

There are a lot of food holidays and, let’s be honest, celebrating some of them is not particularly good for your health. But not the World Carr... read more
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World Stray Animals Day

April 4 is the day to give special attention to the 600.000.000 stray animals in the world. Dogs and cats should have a home. But stray dogs an... read more
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California Poppy Day

On March 2, 1903 the California poppy, Eschscholzia californica, became the official state flower of California (Ca. Government Code Section 421... read more
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International Day of Sport for Development and Peace

The International Day of Sport for Development and Peace (IDSDP) is an annual celebration that highlights and promotes the power of sport as a c... read more
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Tartan Day in Ohio

Tartan Day is a celebration of Scottish heritage on April 6, the date on which the Declaration of Arbroath was signed in 1320. An ad hoc event w... read more
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International Day of Reflection on the Genocide in Rwanda

The Rwandan Genocide was a genocidal mass slaughter of Tutsi and moderate Hutu in Rwanda by members of the Hutu majority. During the approximate... read more
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World Health Day

Achieving Universal health coverage (UHC) is one of the key targets of the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development, and it is the focus of World... read more
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International Romani Day

The International Romani Day (April 8) is a day to celebrate Romani culture and raise awareness of the issues facing Romani people. The day was... read more
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Eid al-Fitr

Eid al-Fitr, also called Breaking the Fast Feast, the Sugar Feast, Bayram (Bajram), the Sweet Festival or Hari Raya Puasa and the Lesser Eid, is... read more
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Ohio Internship and Co-Op Appreciation Day

The Ohio Senate January 29, 2014 passed Senate Bill 227, sponsored by State Senator Bill Beagle (R–Tipp City), which would name the second Tuesd... read more
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Prisoners of War Remembrance Day in Wisconsin

Many Americans across the United States pause to remember the sacrifices and service of those who were prisoners of war (POW), as well as those ... read more
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National Pet Day

Celebrating pets and encouraging adoption April 11th. National Pet Day was founded in 2006 by Pet & Family Lifestyle Expert, Animal Welfare ... read more
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World Parkinson’s Awareness Day

World Parkinson’s Day is supported by the European Parkinson’s Disease Association. James Parkinson was an English surgeon, apothecary, geologi... read more
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International Day of Human Space Flight

The General Assembly, in its resolution A/RES/65/271 of 7 April 2011, declared 12 April as the International Day of Human Space Flight (IDHSF) “... read more
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American’s Creed Day

"The American’s Creed" is the title of a resolution passed by the U.S. House of Representatives on April 3, 1918. It is a statement wr... read more
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Thomas Jefferson Day

He was a great grandfather. He had 12 grandchildren, and many of them lived with him at the same time. He would organize races for the kids on t... read more
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Birthday of Jose de Diego in Puerto Rico (Natalicio de Jose de Diego)

Jose de Diego’s memory has been honored in Puerto Rico by having his birthdate observed as an official holiday as well as the naming of schools,... read more
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Emancipation Day in California

In California, planners have organized family gatherings, picnics and other events to mark that historic event. Emancipation Day in California:... read more
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Patriots’ Day in Maine and Massachusetts

Patriots’ Day is an official state holiday in Maine, Massachusetts and Wisconsin commemorating the anniversary of the Battles of Lexington and C... read more
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Emancipation Day in District of Columbia

Emancipation Day Celebrations April 16. Sketch of the celebration of the Abolition of Slavery in DC. On that day in 1862, President Abraham Lin... read more
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World Voice Day

The idea to devote a special day, each year on April 16, to the voice was originally launched in 1999 by the Brazilian Society of Laryngology an... read more
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American Samoa Flag Day

On April 17, American Samoa celebrates the Flag Day. On this day in 1900 these Eastern Samoan islands became part of the United States family. ... read more
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World Hemophilia Day

There are two types of hemophilia. Each type is linked to a low level of a certain clotting factor. Hemophilia A is the more common type and is ... read more
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The International Day for Monuments and Sites

The International Day for Monuments and Sites was proposed by the International Council on Monuments and Sites (ICOMOS) on 18 April 1982 and app... read more
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Patriots’ Day in Wisconsin

Wisconsin Public School Observance Day to mark the date in 1775 when shots were fired in Lexington, beginning of the Revolutionary War. (Event D... read more
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John Muir Day in California

John Muir (April 21, 1838 – December 24, 1914) was a Scottish-American naturalist, author, environmental philosopher and early advocate of prese... read more
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San Jacinto Day in Texas

San Jacinto Day is the celebration of the Battle of San Jacinto on April 21, 1836. It was the final battle of the Texas Revolution where Texas w... read more
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World Creativity and Innovation Day

It is imperative we use creativity in problem-solving to address the challenges we face. Traditional thinking will no longer do, - Ambassador I.... read more
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Confederate Memorial Day in Alabama, Florida, and Georgia (State holiday)

While Florida would later join Georgia in marking April 26 as Confederate Memorial Day, other states celebrated different dates. By 1916, ten so... read more
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Earth Day

Earth Day is an annual event, celebrated on April 22, on which day events worldwide are held to demonstrate support for environmental protection... read more
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Environmental Awareness Day in Wisconsin

Wisconsin Public School Observance Day, marking the anniversary of Earth Day and urging schools to conduct programs across subject areas to enha... read more
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Passover

The Passover begins on the 15th day of the month of Nisan, which typically falls in March or April of the Gregorian calendar. Passover is a spri... read more
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World Book and Copyright Day

World Book Day or World Book and Copyright Day (also known as International Day of the Book or World Book Days) is a yearly event on April 23rd,... read more
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Administrative Professionals’ Day

Administrative Professionals Day (also known as Secretaries Day or Admin Day) is an unofficial secular holiday observed in several countries to ... read more
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Denim Day

Millions of people across the world will wear jeans with a purpose, support survivors, and educate themselves and others about all forms of sexu... read more
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World Day for Laboratory Animals

World Day for Laboratory Animals on April 24 is a United Nations recognized day of international commemoration of the suffering and killing of m... read more
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World DNA Day

Interesting facts: Scientific calculations, the DNA of all living people, which is more than 7.6 billion people will fit in a teaspoon and will ... read more
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World Malaria Day

World Malaria Day (WMD) is an international observance commemorated every year on 25 April and recognizes global efforts to control malaria. Glo... read more
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Arbor Day

Arbor Day (or Arbour; from the Latin arbor, meaning tree) is a holiday in which individuals and groups are encouraged to plant and care for tree... read more
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Confederate Memorial Day in Florida (Local observance)

Confederate Memorial Day in Florida - Local observance: When April 26 is a Sunday, it is recognized the following Monday. History: White settle... read more
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World Intellectual Property Day

World Intellectual Property Day is observed annually on 26 April. The event was established by the World Intellectual Property Organization (WIP... read more
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Emma ’Grandma’ Gatewood Day in Ohio

Emma Rowena Gatewood, better known as Grandma Gatewood (October 25, 1887–June 4, 1973), was an extreme hiker and ultra-light hiking pioneer who ... read more
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Days of Remembrance of the Victims of the Holocaust

The Days of Remembrance of the Victims of the Holocaust (DRVH) is an annual 8-day period designated by the United States Congress for civic comm... read more
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World Day for Safety and Health at Work

The World Day for Safety and Health at Work is an annual international campaign to promote safe, healthy and decent work. It is held on 28 April... read more
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Confederate Memorial Day in Mississippi (State holiday)

Whereas, the Legislature has designated the last Monday of April as the day for the observance of Confederate Memorial Day, and under the provis... read more
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Heritage and Freedom Flag of the Former Republic of Vietnam Day in Ohio

Ohio Revised Code - GENERAL PROVISIONS - Chapter 5: STATE INSIGNIA; SEALS; HOLIDAYS: 5.2238 Heritage and freedom flag of the former republic of ... read more
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International Dance Day

International Dance Day was introduced in 1982 by the International Dance Council (CID, Conseil International de la Danse), a UNESCO partner NGO... read more
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OPCW Day (Day of Remembrance for all Victims of Chemical Warfare)

The Day of Remembrance for all Victims of Chemical Warfare is an annual event held on April 29 as a "tribute to the victims of chemical war... read more
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International Jazz Day

International Jazz Day is a yearly event on 30 April, organized by UNESCO to celebrate “the virtues of jazz as an educational tool, and a force ... read more
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