«Work in office (Funny)»

Reheating leftover fish in the office microwave should be a fireable offense.

Anonymous

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Robert Frost

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he’s supposed to be doing at that moment.

Robert Benchley

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.

Bertrand Russell

I often work by avoidance.

Brian Eno

When your work speaks for itself, don’t interrupt.

Henry J. Kaiser

You should never protest outside a rich guy’s home during the day because he’s not there. He’s at work grinding the faces of the poor.

Craig Ferguson

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

Charles Lamb

I believe in stopping work and eating lunch.

L’Wren Scott

Personally, I have nothing against work, particularly when performed, quietly and unobtrusively, by someone else.

Barbara Ehrenreich

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Jerome K. Jerome

I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process.

Vincent Van Gogh

If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves.

Lane Kirkland

Statistics indicate that, as a result of overwork, modern executives are dropping like flies on the nation’s golf courses.

Ira Wallach

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Paula Poundstone

Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.

Douglas Adams

Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.

Pablo Picasso

Monday is a lame way to spend 1/7 of your life.

Author unknown

Wednesdays are like Mondays in the middle of the week!

Lee Fox Williams

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.

Pearl Bailey

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

George Carlin

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

Mark Twain

No one’s dream job involves a kiosk.

Damien Fahey

Serious talk around the office of replacing me with a deli tray.

Just Bill

Thank you paper clips, for being like staples that can’t commit.

Jimmy Fallon

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.

Oscar Wilde

Work is the greatest thing in the world. So we should always save some of it for tomorrow.

Don Herold

The number one sign you have nothing to do at work: The 4th Division of Paperclips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry and General White-Out has called for a new skirmish.

Fred Barling, "Humorscope"

I truly believe the wireless mouse was invented so people at work had one less thing to hang themselves with.

Mike Vanatta

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

Drew Carey

Most people treat the office manual the way they treat a software manual. They never look at it.

James Levine

They pretend to pay us an honest wage and we pretend to do an honest day’s work. Hungarian joke

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life:

Number 1: Cover for me.

Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss!

Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

Homer Simpson

Working hard and working smart sometimes can be two different things.

Byron Dorgan

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

Groucho Marx

When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.

Helen Rowland

It’s true that hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?

Ronald Reagan